


I want to eat your appendix

by NiamhofTirnanOg



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life
Genre: Benry explores Gordons weird human body, Crack Fic, M/M, The Frenrey is minor, Weird alien mating rituals, consensual organ monching, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26129953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamhofTirnanOg/pseuds/NiamhofTirnanOg
Summary: Benry didn’t know much about how humans worked. He fucked up big time before, getting Gordon’s arm cut off after selling him out. How was he to know humans can’t regrow their limbs? Stupid idiot monkeys, not knowing basic cheat codes. Just grow it back, idiot.He really needed a crash course on human biology, but uh, college was expensive and shit. Fuck that. He could just examine the convenient human body belonging to his roommate instead. Choo choo mothefucker. You won’t see me coming at all.(Aka, the fic where Benry gets real small and eats Gordons appendix.)
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 19
Kudos: 145





	I want to eat your appendix

**Author's Note:**

> Mild Inspo from that one line in “My trains” by lemon demon. 
> 
> The rest is all crack, with very mild angst for a hot second.

Gordon awoke with a start on the couch. Shit, did he really take a nap while talking to Benry? He hoped the little shit didn't try anything funny. He wouldn’t put it past him to doodle a penis on his face with marker, or some other juvenile shit. 

Stretching, he felt a sharp pain in his gut.

“Fuck, what the hell?”

“Oh uh, shit, you awake?” He could hear Benry speak inside his mind. Sometimes, when Benry’s mouth was otherwise occupied, the ‘man’ could beam thoughts straight into his head.

“Ugh, yeah, hey, where the fuck are you right now?” Gordan asked, looking around the room. The alien was nowhere in sight. 

“Um, so like, don’t get mad, haha.” 

“...Benry, what did you do.” Gordon could feel his blood pressure already rising.

“So I might have um, gotten kind of curious, and uh, shrunk myself down, and uh-“ Gordan felt another sharp pain near his stomach.

“Uh, haha, I’m like, totally inside your body right now.”

“What the FUCK, Benry.” Gordon shouldn’t have been surprised. This was exactly the short of shit they would pull. “I don’t want you up in my shit man!”

“Bbbbbbb- I’m trying to learn about your cringe human body, you anti-education or some shit?”

“How did you even get in me?!” 

“Uuuuuhhh, shrunk down real small, like one inch tall, and crawled inside your ear while you were taking a lil baby nap, haha”

“This is exactly why I don’t take naps with you around Benry, God, what the fuck man?”

“Like, chill out, just tryna get my education on here bro. How else am I supposed to learn about your dumb human stuff?” 

“You could have, fucking, I don’t know, googled it, like a normal person???”

“The Wikipedia servers are still down bro. Relax, I’m not gonna fuck around with anything, I just don’t wanna, y’know, mess up again because I don’t know how humans work. Like, with your arm and shit.”

Oh. 

“Well, if you just want to learn I guess… it couldn’t hurt?” Gordon said, fully aware of how badly this could go wrong. 

God, please don’t let this go horribly, horribly wrong.

“Hell yeah, it’s explore Gordon hours, gonna be Mrs Frizzle up in this hoe!”

Gordan winced. 

“Don’t refer to me as a ‘hoe’ ever again, please.”

“Yessir, you got it, boss man.”

Gordan leant back onto the couch, unsure of what he should be doing while Benry ‘explored’ his insides. He grabbed his phone, thankfully still full of charge, and just eyeballed his social media feed, but staying alert, just in case. He could sort of feel Benry wiggling around his body, and it kept him from focusing anyway.

Benrey suddenly piped up.

“Shit uh, Feetman, since you’re awake now, could ya, um help me out a lil? I don’t know what half of these things in you do.”

Gordan blinked. It was rare to hear Benry to ask for Gordons help on anything. He peered down on instinct, to where he had last felt Benry.

“Uh I don’t know Benry, I’m not exactly a medical doctor. I don’t know much about internal organs and what they do.”

“Whu-? Fucking, cringe bro, how do you not know about your own body and shit? Epic Fail.”

“Shit Benry, give me a break.” Gordon chuckled. 

“I bet you don’t know much about your own body either, right?” He asked. 

“Uhh, no? Know all the cheat codes and shit, I’m a fucking epic gamer, got my lore all stored up in my big brain.” Benry huffed a little, and Gordon couldn’t help but find it kind of… cute.

“Well, if you let me know where they are, and what they look like, I could probably look it up for you?” Gordon offered amicably. 

“Bbbbb, how you gonna google shit without Wikipedia bro?” 

Gordon rolled his eyes. “You know that there’s more to the Internet than Wikipedia, right? Just let me help out man.” He was gonna make an effort to be nice, even if Benry didn’t really deserve it. 

“Ffff, fine. What’s this bean shaped thingy, there’s like, two of them?”

“Uhh, my kidney? 

“Yeah, that one. What it do.”

Gordon quickly typed “Kidney’s” into google.

“It filters my blood to take out the bad shit, and uhh, makes urine I guess?” 

“Oh gross, you a nasty little peepee boy? Gordon Pissman?”

Gordon groaned. 

“Shut the hell up Benry, or get out. I’m not gonna justify my basic human bodily functions to you.”

“Wah wah, lil Feetman can’t take a fucking joke. whatever. What does this spongy looking one do?”

And so Gordons day continued on, he did his best to identify the various organs Benry described, and explain them to the alien, and Benry in turn negged him for having to do things like “produce antibodies” and “digest his food”. 

Not the weirdest day Gordon had ever had, oddly enough.

And then he felt a sudden intense pain, in the lower right side of his body.

“Jesus Benry, that fucking hurt, what did you do?”

He hissed, clutching at his side. 

“Just poked it a lil, it’s such a small little thing, like a little worm, didn’t think it would hurt that much. What is it? It looks-“

“Shit uh- don’t need you to describe it actually, lower right side should be… my appendix? I think???”

“Is it meant to look all red and inflamed like that?”

“The appendix is- Wait, it’s what?!”

Gordon’s heart stopped.

“What- what exactly do you mean, red and inflamed?” Gordon stammered out, heart rate rising.

“Yeah um, it looks all swollen and shit? Smell ya kind of um, dunno how to describe it to a human, but uhhh, sick. It smells super sick bro, and not in the cool way.” Benry prodded at the pouch like sac again.

“Aaaah! Fuck! Stop that Benry!” Gordon could feel tears forming from the pain. Did he really have appendicitis? Oh God, how was he gonna afford surgery? The panic overwhelmed him and he sobbed, sucking in great big gulps of air, his whole body shaking.

“Shit dude, you ok?” The usually stoic man’s tone carried a hint of worry. 

“I’m fucking- the appendix isn’t supposed to be like that man, I’m gonna have to g- get it removed and I-I- I cant fucking afford that right now, so no, I’m not ffff- fucking ok!” 

“Woah dude, I think you need to calm down.”

Gordan felt a sudden calm pulse through his body. Looking down, he could see a blue glow showing through his skin.

“God that feels weird. But thanks, Benry.” 

“Np man.”

The flash of blue suddenly pulsed pink, before quickly fading. 

“What was that?” Gordon asked, curious.

“Uuuuh- what was what man, you didn’t see nothing. Uh. Hey, what does the appendix do, you never explained, um, friend?”

Gordon chuckled at Benrys attempt to change the topic. With Benry’s sweet voice calming him, he felt able to explain without breaking down.

“So um, an appendix is sort of a like, an evolutionary hang up, it probably would have helped us digest stuff in the past, but it’s pretty useless to us now, though I did hear that it houses gut bacteria. We can get it removed without it causing any long term harm, which is just as well since it can become inflamed and rupture causing dea- causing us to become severely ill, I mean.”

“So, you don’t even need it?” Benry asked suddenly. 

“No, not really, why?”

“Haha, wouldn’t it be totally crazy if I like, ate it, would that be wild or what.” Benry trailed off, letting out a soft, almost nervous chuckle. 

“You want to- you want to eat my appendix?” Gordon was baffled. “Why?”

“I mean, you’re all worried about going to the doctors and shit, when your good friend Benry here could sort it out for you. I get a snack, you get your appendix removed for free.

It’s win win bro.”

There was a heavy silence.

When Gordon didn’t respond Benry spoke again.

“Uh, I mean, I’ll heal beam it afterwards and stuff, so, you don’t gotta worry about there being blood leaking all over your pad. I just thought I could help out and I-“

“Ok.” Gordon interrupted. 

“And- Wait what?”

“I said Ok.” Gordon sighed. He hoped he wouldn’t regret this.

“You’ll let me…? Oh shit, score!” 

Gordon could hear the eagerness in his voice and he shuddered. How Benry could be so excited about eating his appendix, he didn’t know. 

“So, uh, how are you gonna do this man?” Gordon asked. The effects of the sweet voice were beginning to fade, and he could feel anxiety creeping in again, along with a dull throb in his side. Would it hurt? 

“Don’t worry Feetman, it won’t hurt. Much.”

That was all the warning Benry gave before Gordon felt a sudden flare of pain, hot, and burning, and indescribably painful for just the briefest second, before a sudden cooling heat replaced it, green and teal glowing through his shirt. Gordon slumped to the side. Benry’s heal beam flowing through him, soothing him to the very core. 

“All done, thanks for the meal.”

Benry sounded smug.

“Shuddup Benry.” Gordon felt too tired to yell at him.

“Wait, what did that even taste like?” He asked.

“Pretty good, ngl. Figured you would.”

“What the hell does that mean…?” Gordon mumbled, a yawn escaping him. Teal to green was one hell of a drug. 

“Uh- don’t worry about it, friend, just uh, just take a lil nap. I’ll let myself out later.”

Gordon dozed off, to a peaceful slumber, while Benry sat still, trying to stop the pink orbs from escaping his mouth. 

“Stupid dumb Feetman.” Benry muttered. 

He was hopelessly infatuated. Of course the man would taste as good as he looked. Even if it was just one of his infected organs, Benry couldn’t help but admire every part of him. His kind could regenerate, so eating an arm or two was a show of affection, one that he couldn’t really do with a dumb human like Gordon, usually. 

He pretty much just confessed his love to the man, and Gordon didn't even  _ know _ .

“Aight, next up, learn how humans date.” He mumbled. He noclipped through Gordon’s flesh, and headed to his room. 

Today's lesson was a big success. Might as well keep the learning train rolling. 

Maybe he’d eventually even be ready to confess for real. 


End file.
